That One Angst Meme

The taste of rust coats his mouth, liquid crimson collecting in the back of throat causes him to painfully roll over and gag; the blood coats his lips and spills over his chin – it almost looks like syrup pouring from a bottle.

“Steve—“

So much needed to be said – time was running to short and Jack could feel the life leaving his body. It almost angered him, really. The times he wanted death, wished for it more than anything and it always managed to be just out of his reach.  It was here and it was evident he would not wake back up from this one. The former immortal leans his head and lays his forehead against Steve’s stomach; his breathing was frantic, uneven – and it was one of the most beautiful sounds he had ever heard.

He’s being shaken now and quite violently at that.  Pain ricochets through his body as he opens his eyes. Through his blurred vision, he can make out Steve’s face – clearly etched out in the red, blue and orange of lights, possibly a police car – an ambulance.

He didn’t want that. He didn’t want to be saved.

With the minuscule amount of strength he had left, Jack puts his hands on either side of Steve’s face and does his best to try and pull him closer so the blond isn’t so hard to see.  He’s trying to remember him with a smile, laughing. Jack doesn’t want the last image of the younger male to be one of pain and sorrow written all over his face.

“Let me go.”

He can tell Steve doesn’t hear him the first time; his eyebrows knit in confusion and he cranes his neck so his ear is closer to Jack’s lip and at this point, Jack doesn’t know if he can it again. Blood bubbles up his throat and he’s choking again, his vision is almost blurred to the point he can’t see and each breath is hard than the last. Trembling fingers clutch Steve’s jacket and Jack tugs him downward, into his arms for the last time. Taking a few deep breaths, he moans in discomfort before gathering himself to speak.

“Let … me go. I’ll—“

His eyes close and he’s fighting to get them back open, but he knows he can’t. He wants, no, he needs to let Steve know he’s going to be okay and that life would move on without him. Though he can’t feel it (he can’t feel anything anymore), he knows Steve is shaking him, trying to force the answer out of him or, to force some life into him.

It was okay and Jack’s dying wish was that Steve would one day realize that on this night, Jack had got what he had been searching for since he was a young boy.

Peace.